Quotes arranged in chronological order begriming with the first session.

March 25, 2006

“That’s not ‘darque’… d-a-r-q-u-e?”
-Samuraiko
“Uh… no.”
-Dust Raven and Shane
“Good… cos I find that a bit more than pretentious- I find that ‘dorquy’… d-o-r-q-u-y!”
-Samuraiko

“Oh, look… it’s like the sadistic tooth fairy!”
-Samuraiko, regarding the ninja knocking out DEMON agents’ poison teeth before interrogation

“Here is my hand… please, eat out of it.”
-Richard, regarding Midnight’s miserably failed Conversation roll

“Wow… their new ninja is much more sociable than the other one.”
-Shane, imagining what the press thinks of Midnight as Whisper’s replacement

“Your clothes are ridiculous, and you smell funny, too!”
-Samuraiko trying to suggest a way to reduce an opponent’s ego

“She can drive the limo… like a nail into the concrete.”
-Dust Raven, regarding the dragon who has no transport familiarity

“I wonder if the insurance will cover claw marks…”
-Dust Raven

“You successfully hit the EGO of Whisper’s foot.”
-Dust Raven

“He’s up to his neck in trouble right now…”
-Whispering Death
“You might say he’s made a lasting impression.”
-Quirria’al
(Regarding the DEMON agent forcibly buried up to his neck in concrete by Vagabond)
“By the way, who is the Morbane in question?”
-Touchstone
“…Darth Malicious…”
-Dust Raven, not really intending this to have been the DEMON agent’s response

“If Cthulhu is a subplot, I don’t want to know what we’re really going up against!”
-Trystan Laryssa

“Oh, I met him in the dungeon of a Demonhame,
We had to beat him up just to learn his name,
And it was Lolock… l-o-l-o-ck…”
-Filk to “Lola” by group

“His name was Lolock… he was a Morbane…
With gold trim around his hood
And a knack for draining blood (pronounced like “hood” above)…”
“With his cloak of darkest red,
He just wants to make you dead…”
-Filk to “Copacabana” by group

“www.evilmustDIE.com”
-Dust Raven
“www.evilmustDIE.org”
-Richard
“www.evilmustDIE.biz”
-Samuraiko

“Would you like your death painful or extra painful?”
-Dust Raven

“It doesn’t hate you… it just wants to eat you!”
-Whispering Death, regarding the Tooth of the Night Dragon

“There’s now a hole in the ground… that’s, oddly enough, shaped like a human.”
-Dust Raven
“Oh… now we can make popsicles!”
-Aminta

“Doesn’t that suck… you won’t be able to take that guy to Hell now…”
-Dust Raven

“Only a Ninja can kill a Ninja…”
-Aminta
“Yes, only a Ninja, fire, drowning, or that dagger can kill the Ninja.”
-Dust Raven

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April 8, 2006

“A dragon would not be a dragon if it could not sit on people’s heads.”
-Dust Raven

“Soulspeech…”
-Richard
“…Vacancy.”
-Shane
(Regarding Blackbird)

“Here I am… brain the size of a planet… and I don’t even have plasma missiles!”
-VICE

“You’re not hitting him…”
-Shane
“He gave me a squirrel.”
-Marianne

“I didn’t thought I needed to…”
-Dust Raven

“…I’m ready…”
-Quirria’al
(Long story)

“It does say in the rules that if you die, it breaks your concentration.”
-Dust Raven

“Well, what could be safer than an ex-demonhame?”
-Dust Raven

“That’s ‘Touchstone’, not ‘Touchdown’…Do not spike him into the floor!”
-Samuraiko

“I don’t care… I’m made out of invulnerable demon-meat!”
-Dust Raven imitating Quirria’al

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April 22, 2006

“I was not trained to think in combat.”
-Whispering Death
“No, you were obviously trained to fall unconscious in combat.”
-Dust Raven

“You just vaporized Blackbird!”
-Dust Raven
“…Oops…”
-Vagabond

Vagabond@handbasket.org

“Think of the inner planes as meatballs, floating in the soup of the astral plane…”
-John T

“Sorry… I’ve got a hall pass from a higher authority, thanks…”
-Whisper

“I’m playing Ninja… I don’t know where I’m going until I get there.”
-Whispering Death

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May 6, 2006

“She’s communicating by the method ‘I poke your arm’.”
-Dust Raven

“You start touching me, we’re going to have issues.”
-Midnight
“I already am touching you… you just can’t feel it.”
-Whispering Death

“Normally I don’t like taking smoke breaks in the middle of combat, but the martial artist wants to do a move-through with a sword!”
-Dust Raven

“Pop… ‘Boo’… whoosh… pad pad pad… swish… clang… thwack… ‘Aaaahhhh!’… Ooh ee, ooh-ahh-ahh, ting-tang, walla walla bing bang…”
-The sounds of combat… we think

“There’s hellfire coming at you… what do you want to do?”
-Dust Raven

“I’m not only sending him straight to Hell, I’m giving him instructions on exactly what I’ll be doing to him during the entire trip!”
-Midnight

“He’s spurting blood in a very anime style, because he was hit with a sword by an anime ninja.”
-Dust Raven

“I hope we didn’t need that door.”
-Midnight

“Rapture… the Nympho-mancer! ‘Let’s get tantric, baby!’”
-Dust Raven

“If you see blood, you did Body. If I say ‘chunks fly off’… you did Body.”
-Dust Raven

“Don’t you have a code against killing?”
-Hummingbird
“It’s not… total…”
-Touchstone

“Dean Cain was like… the ‘yuppie Superman’.”
-Shane

“Telekinesis of 20 STR, increased endurance, costs… oh my god!”
-Dust Raven

“Hey, Whisper… where do you want Zephrem’s staff?”
-Hummingbird
“Uh… up his ass would be nice.”
-Whispering Death

“Guys… Guys? Hello…ninja talking here…”
-Whispering Death

“You’re not bleeding anymore. …Let’s fix that.”
-Whispering Death

“It’s much easier to answer questions without a collarbone sticking through your throat.”
-Dust Raven

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May 20, 2006

“Six-hundred points? That’s an unfair advantage!”
-Shane
“If Blackbird’s at six-hundred, I don’t want to know!”
-Trystan Laryssa
“Oh… you mean that brick we took out so easily last time?”
-John T

“You’re always kick-@$$ when it doesn’t matter.”
-Dust Raven

“Then he can navigate to Babylon in about 5-50 minutes, depending on how well he screws up that roll!”
-Dust Raven

“Why did I have to leave my foam dice at home? Oh, yeah… because the players throw them back at me…”
-Dust Raven

“There are things that the DEMON agent really shouldn’t be playing around with down in that vault.”
-Vagabond
“Like what?”
-Kanethos
“Dirt, water and paper…”
-Whispering Death

“I remember learning stuff about History, and I remember being in a History class. I just don’t remember learning anything in History class.”
-Dust Raven

“So dressing Whisper up in white robes and having him walk around proclaiming to be the Son of God isn’t going to work?”
-Samuraiko
“…Depends what neighborhood you’re in.”
-Dust Raven

“When I smile at someone, it implies ‘Nice to meet you.’ When you smile at someone, it implies, ‘You look like a snack.’”
-Midnight, to Quirria’al

“Hey… we’re tourists. I’m even Japanese! Let’s get a camera!”
-Whispering Death

(Picks up Street Urchin by collar)
“Where are we going? Tell me now or die.”
-Whispering Death

“Actually, we’re a group of superheroes who will kill you if you don’t help us.”
-Whispering Death
“…Fucking Iron Age….”
-Street Urchin

“If you were to chop off your thumb and put it in someone else’s pocket, would you know where it went?”
-John T

“So if he’s The Night Flier, does that make us night riders?”
-Shane

“Can I make a roll to not be the shiny thing? I don’t want to be the shiny thing!”
-Touchstone

“Get thee to a punnery!”
-Samuraiko

“How’s your foot, Whisper?”
-RC
“What… his Ninja-toe?”
-Richard

“You aborted to an… ‘Oh, fuck!’”
-John T

“Whispering Death goes in one side, and Whispering Cole-slaw comes out the other…”
-John T

“And the zombies under the floor… where are they?”
-Richard
“…Under the floor.”
-Dust Raven

“I heal thee in the name of ‘save my life’…”
-Dust Raven

“82 STUN and 21 BODY…”
-Dust Raven
“Goodnight…”
-Shane
“Is that ‘goodnight’ or ‘goodbye’?”
-John T

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June 17, 2006

“We knew there was a threat when your unconscious body slid across the floor to let us know.”
-Samuraiko

“What… only four zombies? Feeling a little short-staffed?”
-Kanethos, to the Morbane who recently lost his magical staff of power

“I slide to the floor, and look good!”
-Midnight
“What are you talking about… you’re invisible!”
-John T

“I don’t eat, breathe, sleep, and fuck this system.”
-Samuraiko

“Tempting, but I’d rather eat your head off…”
-Thoughts of a random zombie

“A pitiful attempt…”
-Zephrem, just after Kanethos’ necromancy failed, and right before botching his own spell

“He ain’t heavy… he’s my ninja…”
-Samuraiko

“At least if I die, there are at least two people who know hell well enough they can find me.”
-Midnight

“The enemy picks your nose… as a target.”
-John T

“How well can you target somebody by the sound of their screaming?”
-John T

“I turn off my darkness, walk into the light, and beat the shit out of them.”
-John T

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July 1, 2006

“Do not meddle in the affairs of psychics, for you are paranoid and susceptible to attack.”
-Trystan Laryssa

“You in the throes of ‘my mind has gone south’ is not something I want to see!”
-Midnight
“You should have seen me when I was dead!”
-Whispering Death

“I seem to have this power that causes people to run away from me while making loud, keening noises.”
-Quirria’al

“He’s the reclusive ninja that hasn’t been laid since he was dead.”
-Dust Raven

“I will descend from the ivory dungeon.”
-Midnight

“For all she knows, Whisper has the erotic drive of a strand of kelp.”
-Michelle

“First you get a piece of ass, and then you have to kick it…”
-John T

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July 15, 2006

“I can’t fight goodness without my JujuFish!”
-Dust Raven

“Does money grow on trees? No… it grows under them!”
-Dust Raven

“What am I going to do at a bank, I don’t have a public ID!”
-Vagabond
“You could stand outside, hand out daisies, and ask people if they’ve accepted Christ as their personal savior. Not only would they ignore you, people would probably go out of their way to pretend you weren’t there.”
-Midnight, on the different members’ “cover” reason for being at the bank to prevent a robbery

“Hi… I’d like to open up a new account. I have… a %$#@! lot of money!”
-Dust Raven, imitating Midnight

“You just kicked a superhero in the balls… how innocent is that?!”
-Dust Raven, regarding an innocent and disgruntled bystander

“I’m holding for Qurria’al to blow his aerobatics roll.”
-Vagabond

“We’re not interested in stopping the robbery just yet.”
-Whispering Death

“It’s not combat with this team unless your money is flying randomly!”
-Dust Raven, regarding Midnight

“Damn wizards… just get stabbed already!”
-Sabre

“Midnight’s going to use his brain as a Rubik’s Cube to amuse herself.”
-Michelle

“Well… stab ya later!”
-Sabre

“Whisper… you’re not helping.”
-Midnight
“I’m not trying to help.”
-Whispering Death

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August 5, 2006

“Can I summon a possessing demon?”
-Whispering Death

“Whisper did not die with intent to defraud…”
-Midnight

“Yes… but I know Psi wants me for my mind…”
-Midnight

“I’m betting [Bodyjack] could really get into you…”
-John T

“You are as good looking as…”
-Dust Raven
“…a turnip.”
-John T, regarding Qurria’al

“You have a motorcycle… I have a demon!”
-Touchstone

“The Tail of the Night Dragon”
-Dust Raven
“The Whip of Ouchiness”
-John T
“The Miracle Whip”
-Samuraiko

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August 12, 2006

“Goodbye, Avatar… goodbye, Deja-vu… ‘bye, Rapture… ‘bye, Deja-vu… see you, Bodyjack… goodbye Deja-vu… later, Sabre… g’bye, Deja-vu…”
-Farewells to Psi-Factor

“Welcome to Club Snaab…”
-Dust Raven

“Hey, Quirria’al… wanna go to Babylon? You can eat trucks… or they can eat you.”
-An off-the-cuff suggestion

“Yeah… but you can use the Astral Plane to get to Babylon… it’s the whole soup-between-the-meatballs thing.”
-John T

“And what’s my presence?”
-The Vagabond (aka, the Wandering Jew)
“You don’t get Christmas presents… you’re Jewish.”
-Dust Raven

“Almost eaten by a truck?”
-Dust Raven
“Yeah… it was carnivorous.”
-John T

“Touchstone… The Animated-Car-Whisperer…”
-Dust Raven

“A race of cars… a convoy of semis…”
-John T
“…A line of pick-ups?”
-Samuraiko

“I mind control you to obey my commands.”
-Dust Raven

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August 26, 2006

“You have the option of pacing yourself, or ginsuing yourself into naphood.”
-Dust Raven

“New ranking system for the Dark Guardians: How many members of Psi have you done?”
-Dust Raven

“The brick can find you.”
-Quirria’al
“I can make the brick forget… or perhaps become intimately acquainted with the floor.”
-Midnight
“Yeah… remember that when your car lands on your head.”
-Quirria’al

“Where’s the psychic…… THERE he is!!!”
-Trystan Laryssa (In the style of Diego from “Ice Age”)

“He can reverse the polarity of the neuron flow!”
-Dust Raven

“Next floor… hardware, lingerie, inner planes…”
-Samuraiko

“Thank you for calling the Dark Guardians hotline. For bashings and thrashings, press 1 for Qurria’al. For mind-fucking, please press 2, 3, or 4 for Midnight, Hummingbird, or Touchstone. For covert operations, you can’t find Whispering Death anyway. If you don’t know why you’re calling, press 7 for Vagabond. If you are selling plasma missiles, please hang up before Vice gets on the line, and please add us to your DoNotCall list.”
- Samuraiko on a rant

“Greetings, Gentlemen.
If you are reading this note,
Kiss your ass goodbye.”
-Trystan Laryssa’s Haiku Death Threat

“Has anybody seen Cloak?”
-Avatar, regarding the psion with invisibility powers
“Just for that, I’m not applauding the next 20 times we go trolling for muggers.”
-Midnight

“Tengu is a bad man…”
-Understatement of the year by Touchstone

“He could hand you your ass folded neatly into origami… how’s that?”
-Midnight

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September 9, 2006

“‘Pick up everything’ and ‘Disintegrate what I see’… those are the Dark Phoenix’s powers in X3.”
-Our esteemed group of HERO gamers

“Poodles are puntable…”
-Dust Raven

“Remember to tip the battlefield…”
-Dust Raven, regarding Midnight

“Zephrem… how do you feel about being the ultimate poseur? Our audience wants to know…”
-Samuraiko

“I want to teleport in between the rock and the hard place…”
-Dust Raven

“You need to buy ‘Detect Ninja’.”
-Whispering Death
“You need to buy off ‘Sneaky-ass Bastard’.”
-Touchstone

“It is a happy day when I roll 19 dice and see no 1’s…”
-John T

“He is what we call a ‘bye-bye’.”
-John T
“He is now an ex-ninja.”
-Samuraiko
“He is now permanently invisible.”
-John T

“Now that Zephrem’s robes are whatever-color-they-were-plus-brown…”
-Samuraiko

“So, he definitely stopped chanting to dodge, then…”
-Samuraiko
“Yeah, I don’t think ‘Oh, shit!’ is part of that spell…”
-Shane

“Here’s blood in your eye…”
-Shane

“Did you want to use your phase 3 action to avoid getting hit by a flying ninja?”
-Dust Raven
“Can I just Missile Deflect him?”
-Vagabond
“What’s your strength? …Uh, yeah, technically you can.”
-Dust Raven
“He ain’t heavy… he’s my ninja.”
-Samuraiko
“Okay… I Missile Deflect the ninja.”
-Vagabond
“Is it just me, or has this turned anime?”
-Shane

“You go to half DCV while rapid-firing. That’s why most people don’t do that in front of a necromancer with a stinky finger.”
-Dust Raven

“He didn’t expect tendrils to come sneaking around the corner and grab him in the ass!”
-Dust Raven
“He should have, considering his boss…”
-Samuraiko

“We have another Rohrschach Ninja…”
-Samuraiko

“He’s limp in areas the human body is not supposed to be limp at.”
-Dust Raven

“I’m busy mentally bitchslapping your father around…”
-Midnight

“Midnight threw money, Quirria’al blew a hole in the wall, Vagabond is about to fall unconscious… now Touchstone just has to do a grab-by and you can all leave, because your typical combat will be complete!”
-Dust Raven

“I think Touchstone has a code vs. eeking…”
-Samuraiko

“It seems this interruption doesn’t suit our arrangements, Mr. Yamaguchi… we’ll continue our business elsewhere.”
-Zephrem
“…WIMP!!!”
-Midnight

“I can regenerate limbs…”
-Whispering Death
“I can’t!”
-Midnight
“You need to learn how…”
-Whispering Death
“I am not a salamander last time I checked!!!”
-Midnight

“If he wakes up dead, he’ll understand!”
-Dust Raven

“If Zephrem had hung around just a little bit longer…”
-Dust Raven
“…He’d have been able to resurrect a hamburger golem!”
-John T
“We’ve turned him into a ninjaburger!”
-Dust Raven

“He’s currently got a movement of… *snore*”
-John T

“Go ahead. Push me mentally. See what pushes back.”
-Midnight and her weird little connection to the Qliphothic Plane…

“I’m trying to save the world… you’re just trying to piss it off.”
-Whispering Death

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September 23, 2006

“There is no normal in this group… there’s just less fucked!”
-Samuraiko

“Foxbat out of Hell…”
-Title for the next Foxbat comic, had it been him and not Pulsar in hell

“Well, it’s morning… but I usually don’t let that stop me.”
-Avatar

“I’m sorry… I had to clean the sarcasm off the phone before I could hear you.”
-Midnight

“I’m not sure if I’ve been threatened, or asked into bed…”
-Avatar

“No… this is ‘ick’ as in written in 450 point font ‘ick’!”
-Samuraiko

“Hi… I’m with the Dark Guardians… can I make a few bureaucratics rolls?”
-Dust Raven, quoting what shouldn’t be said in game to the school board

“Ninja do not sparkle…”
-Samuraiko

“Oohh… look at that body! …Target practice!”
-Dust Raven

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October 7, 2006

“I’d say three-against-one is perfectly fair when you’re fighting somebody who’s trying to destroy the world.”
-Richard

“I found out that there was hell in the woodpile…”
-Quirria’al

“I hope that’s accidentally utterly pathetic…”
-John T

“Let me hear what he has to say for a minute, so I can remember how screwed up he is…”
-Dust Raven

“Bodhamaya is going to go and check all the milk cartons in Hell for pictures of Quirria’al.”
-Dust Raven

“Might as well use all my endurance before it’s gone…”
-John T

“I’m going to be knocked out anyway… might as well be by my teammate.”
-Richard

“Demon Chia Pet… it’s the demon that grows on you…”
-Richard, regarding the idea of having Quirria’al masquerade as topiary

“Do you mind if your sister bleeds black?”
-Whispering Death

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November 4, 2006

“Transform: Person corrupted by Qliphothic energy to person not corrupted by Qliphothic energy (Side Effects: Hand character sheet to GM).”
-Dust Raven

“I think I should go and read what he sent me… then I can properly misunderstand his intentions…”
-Dust Raven

“It says ‘Qliphothic’ a lot on his disads!”
-Dust Raven

“Accidental Change: Dead.”
-Dust Raven

“Knowledge Skill: Dumb ideas. 14-”
-Dust Raven

“Targeting Touch… so now he can feel you up at a distance.”
-John T

“Yes… but can white demons jump?”
-Richard

“There is no who’s who of Hell…”
-Samuraiko

“Puzzling Apprehension would restrain two of his limbs… and with the remaining six, he’d rip your head off.”
-Dust Raven

PlotDevice@GM.com

“I eat Qliphothic energy for breakfast…”
-Midnight

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December 2, 2006

“Vagabond, the Canadian Jew…”
-Dust Raven

“Fuck you, politely.”
-John T

“Drink yourself sane…”
-John T

“I’m busy right now bleeding all over the mountain…”
-Midnight

“Blood is not what I would call an aphrodisiac…”
-Samuraiko

“What we need are some Questonite band-aids…”
-Dust Raven

“Your character’s just about covered in handwavium…”
-John T

“If the salmon are possessed by Cthulhu, then you can’t call them spawn, or Todd McFarlane will sue you.”
-Dust Raven

“Can we dig into her head?”
-Whispering Death
“Do you have a spoon?”
-Dust Raven

“Okay… let me see if I can describe what happens to you.”
-Dust Raven

“What’s the pH balance of the Qliphothic pool?”
-Samuraiko

“How much endurance does shitting your pants require?”
-Shane
“Depends how much effort you put into it.”
-John T
“Personally, I think it would count as a zero-phase action.”
-Samuraiko

“A thousand years from now, the Nazis will be looking for the Rail Gun of Destiny…”
-Dust Raven

“He drinks… he scores!!!”
-John T

“I don’t care if Foxbat is stealing the mall again… we need an Archmage!”
-Dust Raven

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December 16, 2006

“Chon… it’s ancient Chinese for ‘allow me to hand you your butt.’”
-Samuraiko

“Unlimited ninja fodder… for your smearing pleasure…”
-Trystan Laryssa

“Here, birdie, birdie, birdie… come get the nice Night Dragon artifact…”
-Samuraiko

“Roll 3dMonster…”
-Dust Raven’s response to a bunch of plastic chibi-esque monster figures

“Wait a minute… make that ‘detect worthwhile minds’…”
-Midnight

“How do you laugh in ninja-code?”
-Dust Raven

“Scary ju-ju even scares the Jew…”
-John T

“I don’t think Zephrem is going to die of natural causes. Unless we hit him with a big rock… that’s kinda natural.”
-Shane

Discussing their concurrent battles with Zephrem’s forces and Tengu’s ninjas…
“Our encounter with Zephrem was positively smashing.”
-Sabre
“Yes, he was quite stunned to see us!”
-Touchstone
“Well, when Tengu saw us, he looked kinda crushed…”
-Quirria’al
“You might say we rather brought the house down!”
-Midnight

“I stand up, and the building moves out of the way…”
-Quirria’al

“Eat a few bricks… you’ll feel better.”
-Midnight

“I’m falling over there… my head’s falling over here… save me…”
-Dust Raven

“Hey… I died over here! If all you get is bitchslapped, I don’t want to hear it!”
-Midnight

“What’s the Limitation on Ego if it’s ‘only to be a pompous turd?’”
-John T

“He has to monologue or he suffers incompetence…”
-John T

“Hacky-slashy through the lackey…”
-Shane

“See? Even bleeding to death, I have a purpose!”
-Midnight

“You have begged and pleaded with me that your character survive, and I am a kind and benevolent asshole…”
-Dust Raven

“I’m just going to sit back and let the GM tell me what I do in my temporary, mindless, soul-eating rage…”
-Touchstone

“You were born a white girl, you were raised a white girl… you are now a ninja.”
-Dust Raven

“I’ve never been in an astral battle as an emissary of evil before…”
-Touchstone

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January 27, 2007

“Ohhh!! ‘Shades of a Dead Man’?! That’s morbid!”
-TrystanLaryssa
“Welcome to the Dark Guardians.”
-Dust Raven

“If Peter Parker becomes Spiderman just by getting bit by a radioactive spider, just imagine the kind of power Shade might get from shagging the Night Dragon!”
-Samuraiko

“He’s not dumb… he’s just possessed by a retarded ghost.”
-List of random insults
“So… who’s up for fighting Zephrem?”
-Dust Raven

“The Night Dragon dribbles you like a cheap basketball…”
-John T

“Everyone made sure to hit the save button and save their games before entering Arcadia, right?”
-Dust Raven
“Is that a new button on our radios?”
-Samuraiko

“Arcadia is not Night Dragon poo…”
-Samuraiko

“Arcadia is just one great big metaphysical cosmic metaphor.”
-Dust Raven
“Actually, now it’s a great big cosmic pile of gravel.”
-John T

“Put the Night Dragon back!”
-Midnight

“All of the ways of putting back the Night Dragon involve publicity.”
-Kanethos
“Now available on PayPerView for $9.99, the Dark Guardians get fucked. Available on channels, 1, 3, 5 and ‘Oh Fuck!’”
-Samuraiko
“The ‘Oh Fuck Network,’ a subsidiary of Fox.”
-Dust Raven
“Would that be Fux?”
-Samuraiko
“Well SOMEONE has to compete with Showtime!”
-Dust Raven

“We’re going to back to Earth and holdup a really big sign that says ‘Under Construction: Please Attack Mars’.”
-Samuraiko, who apparently decided not to shut up

“Just drape Zephrem in a big old white sheet labeled ‘Dragon Chow’…”
-Trystan Laryssa

“Human nature has just manifested itself… and it’s going to be here in about five minutes.”
-Shane

“Have we found the universal ‘mute’ button, yet?”
-Marianne

“I got sent to Hell and all I got was this lousy handbasket…”
-Dust Raven

“If Whisper gets out of this one, he’s buying the Dark Guardians dinner for the next hundred years.”
-Samuraiko
“Fat lot of good that does me.”
-Qurria’al
“Okay, so Whisper has to buy you all the Ferraris you can eat.”
-Samuraiko

“Hey, just an FYI. The Night Dragon is back. It’s DEMON’s fault. We mobilize in 24 hours to defeat them both. Be there. If you don’t forward this message on to at least ten other Ultras, the world is going to end.”
-The Ultra Chain Letter

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February 10, 2007

“Dark Guardians: 4,360… DEMON: 0!”
-Samuraiko

“Quirria’al… a part of your balanced breakfast.”
-Dust Raven

“My dog used to love Pop Rocks…”
-John T’s method of completely derailing a game with one out-of-the-blue comment

“This is for Arcadia! …This is for messing up the morning radio shows! …And this- this is just cos we know Whisper’s in there somewhere!”
-Dust Raven

“Hell-istic Medicine Techniques… Care and Healing of Demons”
-Imagined book titles in the library

“It’s the end of the world, everybody… who wants pepperoni?!”
-Dust Raven

“Ahhh… my arm’s on fire! …That feels much better, thanks!”
-Quirria’al

“Today on ‘This Old Universe’… reality improvement!”
-Dust Raven

“There’s an odd sound, like a cat just walked across an organ… and I don’t mean your spleen…”
-Dust Raven

“Your generosity is underwhelming…”
-Midnight

“Blowing up my opponents works just fine as a romantic declaration!”
-Midnight

“Delusions of Grandeur does not qualify as a Mental Power, Zephrem!”
-Midnight

“I’m going to grab his arms… then I’m going to grab his head!”
-Quirria’al
“Why not? He’s not using it anyway.”
-Midnight

“It’s not every Morbane who has the honor of boasting that he was killed by demons… twice.”
-Trystan Laryssa

“I will introduce one [of the enemy] to the Twizzler attack…”
-John T
“Well, the Twizzler attack didn’t seem to do much… maybe next time you can use the Wacky Wall Walker attack… that might work better.”
-Trystan Laryssa

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February 24, 2007

“Oh, by the way, I went out and bought a Night Dragon…”
-Shane’s announcement upon arriving at game

“You know the Oracle of Delphi, right…?”
-Richard
“Not personally… we haven’t spoken in some time…”
-Samuraiko

“So, if all roads lead to Rome, does that mean if you walk long enough in any direction in Babylon, you’ll eventually get to Rome?”
-Trystan Laryssa
“Yes… if you walk long enough down any road in Babylon, you’ll be roamin’…”
-Dust Raven

“Whisper does not have issues… Whisper has volumes! He has an entire subscription!”
-Dust Raven

“This is what separates this campaign from a true anime-style campaign… I’m not actually leveling Tokyo!”
-Dust Raven

“You have drawn-and-quartered his defenses…”
-Dust Raven

“I will turn your brain into Origami…”
-Midnight

“48 Stun, 13 Body… that was kinda wimpy.
-Dust Raven
“That’s what you call ‘kinda wimpy’?!?!!”
-Midnight
“For this many dice… yes.”
-Dust Raven

“We’re now playing D&D… what’s your THWACK0?”
-Dust Raven

“It’s the Fatal Belly-Button Poke of DOOM!”
-John T

“Okay, this is going to be dramatically odd…”
-Dust Raven

“Hey, maybe you can make him into ‘Morbane… on a stiiick!’”
-Trystan Laryssa, in the style of Jeff Dunham

“I’m not going to make it easy on him!”
-Midnight
“Oh, why not? Oh, that’s right… you’re not easy.”
-John T
“No… I’m just cheap.”
-Midnight

“Would you like to re-dodge?”
-John T

“Hey… at least you’ve got him on the offensive…”
-Shane

“Maybe you’ll fight better with that staff shoved up your ass… it’d give you a backbone, at least!”
-Midnight

“Turn left at Albuquerque, right at Mount Fuji, and you’re there!”
-John T, on successfully navigating to Valley of the Dragon, Japan

“I could have slept with him… but that just would have been tedious.”
-Midnight

“Shut up, you egomaniac lizard twit!”
-Trystan Laryssa

“Execute Kill-the-fucker-now Maneuver… on my mark…”
-Dust Raven

“Head… Head… Head… Head… Head…..”
-Richard’s chant as we see where the killing attack hit Zephrem

“So now Zephrem’s half the Morbane he used to be…”
-Midnight

“144 Stun after defenses… that was literally gross!”
-Dust Raven
“What… no Body?”
-Samuraiko
“Oh, I haven’t even gotten to that yet…”
-Dust Raven

“Zephrem’s Stun level is now officially at ‘GMOh-fuck!’”
-Dust Raven

“It’s my dolly… I’ll play with it any way I want.”
-Quirria’al, in reference to grabbing Zephrem

“Combat is simple for the unconscious…”
-John T

“On top of Mount Fuji
All covered in dark,
We fought the Night Dragon…
Oh, that left a mark!”
-Instafilk by Samuraiko

“You speak Japanese… You act Japanese…. You look… like a cartoon!”
-Dust Raven

“It’s the Isolated Monk Network… tell one group of monks something, they’ll have it spread around the globe in twenty minutes.”
-Shane

“Time to enter the history books…”
-Shane

“Evil… smells like dandelions… I hate dandelions…”
-Dust Raven

“Rapture loves me… this I know,
For she hits me with Ego…”
-Samuraiko, yet another instafilk

“Right over there, you suddenly see a GREAT BIG BRIGHT BEACON OF HOPE!!!”
-Dust Raven, describing the glowing confident presence of Vagabond

“If Vagabond is the hope and warmth that exists in the daylight, then I am projecting the safety and respite of the night, of the darkness, the reason why people can sleep and dream knowing they are safe… because we hare here to protect them.”
-Midnight
“So, in essence, that we are, in fact, Dark Guardians…”
-Touchstone

“He’s got a great big wad of feel-good.”
-Dust Raven

“Put the small chick out front. Protect us from evil, little girl…”
-Dust Raven

“We are the Dark Guardians, we are still here, and we are the hope that the sun will rise tomorrow!”
-Midnight

“Bet you miss those carnivorous cars now, don’t you?”
-Samuraiko

“I’m not the half-a-man I used to be…”
-Quirria’al

“Darth Night Flier…”
-Dust Raven

“If the Night Dragon is the embodiment of all that is evil, it shouldn’t destroy the world… there’s a job at the IRS with the Dragon’s name all over it!”
-Samuraiko

“Do you have Demon Deflection?”
-Dust Raven

“Somebody fix Quirria’al before he breaks somebody…”
-Trystan Laryssa

“I suppose this is where I’m glad Quirria’al can’t see me, because then I don’t look like a target.”
-Midnight

“Did you just tell him to abort to Die-For-Cover?”
-Marianne

“He’s trying to kill Vagabond… from what you can tell, that’s perfectly understandable.”
-Dust Raven

“We’re going to make you feel good whether you like it or not!”
-Samuraiko

“Mind Control: Stop being mind-controlled.”
-Trystan Laryssa

“Okay, Hummingbird… do you want Quirria’al to kill you, too?”
-Dust Raven

“Well, not everybody can be a dragon, you know.”
-Shane

“Oh, look… a great big beacon of hope! I don’t want to kill him… I would be killing hope! …Oh, shit, there’s a metaphor there.”
-Dust Raven rambling on as the un-mind-controlled Quirria’al

“You’re glowing black with light shining on you.”
-Dust Raven

“Hope without sacrifice is only desperation.”
-Shane
“Okay, well… there’s the beacon of hope… you can sacrifice him now…”
-Dust Raven

“Midnight’s new job is translating from Vagabond to English.”
-Samuraiko

“They are magical chains of light… hope chains… Hope on a Rope…”
-Dust Raven

“Quirria’al is the newest artifact… he’s the Chew Toy of the Night Dragon!”
-Samuraiko
“They should make longer hope…!”
-Rapture

“These are chains made of hope!”
-Dust Raven
“Yeah, well… I hope this works!”
-Quirria’al

“How much do I have to roll to hit the Earth with my Ego?”
-Touchstone

“The Night Dragon will eat Hope for breakfast.”
-Touchstone
“Uh… not when I’m the Hope, please…”
-Vagabond

“The Night Dragon will not wake up again right away… only Disney can pop out a sequel that quickly!”
-Dust Raven

“Can I help you?”
-Whisper the Blacksmith
“Yeah… you can stop being an ass.”
-Touchstone
“…Never.”
-Whisper, with an all-too knowing grin

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