A song parody to the music of “The Entertainer” by Billy Joel

I am the Storyteller and I know just where I stand
Just another campaign goddess with a mixed-bag players’ band.
Today I am your GM, I may have won your hearts,
I just know the game, I don’t have a name,
And you won’t be here in another year
As my game just falls to parts.

I am the Storyteller and I’ve had to pay my price
When I’d forget things at the first, my players’d start throwing dice!
And still they come to haunt me, still they want their say.
So I give XP as they try to see

The latest enemy so they’ll know to flee…

Then they go the other way.

I am the Storyteller, I live in my own world,
I’ve played all kinds of systems, most make me want to hurl.
I can’t remember players, I don’t remember names.
But what the hell, you know it’s just as well
‘Cause after a trice and a thousand dice,
It all becomes the same.

I am the Storyteller, I bring to you my tales.
But no matter how I plot and plan, my timeline always fails.
The players make demands, they just won’t stay in line.
Gotta get some sleep for that job I keep
And I’d love to play but there’s bills to pay
So I just don’t have the time.

I am the Storyteller, I’ve come to run my show.
You’ve heard my players talk about it, on and on they go!
It took me months to plan it, it was the best time of my life.
It was a great campaign, full of blood and pain,
As the PCs took the hits, then they started throwing fits,
As the players fell to strife.

I am the Storyteller, a gamer tried and true,
But there’s just no compensation for the crap they put me through.
They want more blood and violence, they want more mystery!
And if I don’t give, I ain’t gonna live,
So the angst appears, and my players’ cheers
Are the sweetest praise to me.

I am the Storyteller and I know just where I stand -
Just another campaign goddess with an awesome PC band.
Today I am their GM, my game has won their hearts,
Cause I’m not the same “just like the other game,”
And I’ll still be here in another year
As my latest campaign starts…